Dear Diary, it's me Donald

Day 1 – install diet coke button, put Elon in charge of whatever he wants, name an airport after Arnold Palmer, require Ivanka to work in Whitehouse or have her arrested in the Lincoln bedroom, call Vlad and let him have Ukraine.

Day 2 – play golf, invite the Christians over and let them touch me. Send Mike Pence a subscription to cat fancy cause he’s a pussy. Send Jared overseas for like forever. Maybe his plane crashes. Maybe I have to console Ivanka. Maybe we hug real tight. Maybe she brushes against my BurrDen.

Day 3 – Make shark week a national holiday.

Day 4 – Free those great patriots from January 6th. Horrible that they were locked up. So sad.

Day 5 – 99 Do stuff. Lots of stuff.

Day 100 – Kill all sharks. Wear sharkskin suit. Learn to surf. Impress Ivanka.