Dear Diary, it's me Donald

Greenland? Not even sure where it is. Panama Canal? I guess China likes it. Canada? Too cold but on the map it’s red so it’s pretty much mine already.

This is how I negotiate. Tell everyone I’m going to take all this crap. And it is crap. Not quite shithole but it’s crap. If there were more people that looked, you know, I’m not going to say it, they would be shitholes.

Now do I want this stuff? I’d take it. Sure. Why not? But it’s not the goal. The goal is to show everyone that I can be just as tough as Vlad and just as Crazy as Little Kim. This makes me stronger in negotiations.

The real goal, the real win, is one night with Ivanka. If I act real crazy like I might start a war or two and the only person to stop it is her I think she just made give in.