Dear Diary, it's me Donald

In a couple of weeks I have to move back into the White House. It’s a nice house but it’s no Mar-a-Lago. The Mar is great. It’s fun. I can wander around, hold meetings and then charge these kiss asses to hold meetings about which one of them can work for me. I can’t do that at the White House.

Can I? Can I charge people to have meetings? Can I charge rent? I do at Mar-a-Lago so I should be able to in the White House. I’ll ask JD to look into that when he’s not busy fucking a couch. Why did I choose that guy? Oh yeah, cause Peter Tiny Toes Teal gave me a bunch of money and asked me to. Whatever.

Can I stay in Florida? For at least the winter? I’m not staying in that gross swamp in the summer. Hell no. That’s for weirdos and poor people. So Winter White House, charge rent for meetings, Summer White House in Scotland so I can play golf and charge rent and maybe fall in DC? In order to make America great and keep it safe I as the most winningest President in US history I need to work from where I am most comfortable. My fellow Americans don’t you want your President to be at his best? They’ll go for it and it’ll piss Chuck and Nancy off.

I should ask Ivanka if this sounds good. And let the Saudi’s take care of Jared.