Dear Diary, it's me Donald

Dreamt about riding horses with Vlad again. My horse was so big and strong. Vlad’s horse was big too but mine was bigger. And stronger. Vlad said he never saw a horse so big and so strong. He patted my horse on the head and said let’s ride.

We rode to Hillary Clinton’s house and Vlad’s horse took a big dump on her front lawn. I laughed so hard I almost fell off the horse.

Then I’m a baby lost like in a laundry room or something. In comes the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She picks me up and holds me. Then she starts breastfeeding me. I can’t see her but I know it’s Ivanka. I’m so hungry. Then I look up and it’s no longer Ivanka but it’s Vlad.

Dreams are weird, uh?