Dear Diary, it's me Donald

Ivana wanted to name him Alexander. Alexander, I said to her? What a stupid fucking name. She told me that he would be picked first in class because A is first… needless to say she got it that night.

Who knew but she was right. He doesn’t deserve my name. I tell him not to do drugs. So he does drugs. Like he’s a little kid. Daddy told me not to so I’m going to. Eric at least leaves me alone and is fine at his job. Not good. Not great but fine. Junior on the other hand is like Fredo. Fredo on cocaine. And I know the little asshole is selling me out to Elon. The two of them doing drugs and trying to control me. Like either of them could standup to Kim Jung Ill.

I should have named him Fredo. Barron should have been named Donald. But Barron is a pretty good name too. Barron is my alterego fantasy name. Barron is who I become when I close my eyes at night. Barron is strong and tough and puts Arnold Palmer to shame.

I hope Barron isn’t a fuckup. Kid spends so much time with his momma he’s bound to be soft.

Ivanka is soft in all the right places. Out of my 3 kids at least I have Ivanka who is a dream come true.