Dear Diary, it's me Donald

You know I created that name? It’s true. You see there was this very handsome and powerful man that worked for me named Barron. He was so strong. The women, all the women, couldn’t get enough of him. I was like, geez Barron… so I had to let him go. What if Ivanka saw him?

Years later I named my son Barron because I wanted him to be so strong. Maybe. One day. He’s tall and kinda weird. He’s into these weird podcasters. He had me do a few. Daddy the kids will vote for you if you go on so and so’s podcast. I did and I thought I was on friggin candid camera at times. These losers are popular? Must be. I won by a landslide. Biden didn’t even get anywhere the amounts of votes I got.

Could you imagine how beautiful the kids would be if Barron and Ivanka got together? I mean, wow. They could. They’re not related. Different mothers.